And also with you. (Not your spirit, you. A special circle of hell is reserved for the persnickety Latin nerd responsible for that abomination. Plus it’s wrong.) These are not the gravitons you’re looking for.
Imagine you are a mostly 2D being who lives on a 2D surface. Like a piece of paper, or maybe a box a board game comes in. Maybe in your happy little world its a happy little piece of plywood. You like soccer and you have a bag full of soccer balls and you dump them out in front of you (okay they’re soccer circles, not balls). Now image we tilt the surface. The circles would start sliding to the lower side. Heading towards some local center of gravity, say the center of the earth, even though that’s wrong. How would explain why your soccer circles were moving towards one side of your surface? You have no idea that one side of your surface is lower than the other. You just know the circles are all heading in one direction. Perhaps there’s a force that’s pulling them there or pushing them there. Soccer circles don’t just move by themselves.
Okay now imagine you’re a 3D being who lives on earth. Why do your soccer balls fall, generally toward the center of the earth? (not Messi’s, those tend to wind up in the upper corners. Yours and mine). If the ball could get to the center of the earth, what would happen. would it stop falling? Where would it be when it got there?
We’ll come back to that one. We know the sun warps MD space. We picture the earth on a flat plane and the sun’s gravity well as a sort of cone shaped hole we’re always falling into at the same speed we’re escaping it. (This explains in part, cosmologists and astronomers, why galaxies don’t fly apart. Hidden mass is more likely than hidden slope? More on that later.) It’s convenient that the planets all lie fairly neatly on an elliptical plane. Helps with the image. But the warping of MD space isn’t in 3D. Its in 4D. In that image of a cone shaped hole, where is down?
It’s not 3D down. It’s 4D down. The sun is a sphere. It’s density of energy and mass increases MD space. Where? In which direction? Somewhere inside the sun there is more space than we can see.
So our soccer ball wouldn’t be at the center of the sphere of the earth. If you kept adding soccer balls you wouldn’t run out of room to put them before you ran out of soccer balls (which you would, there’s no infinity!). But you can’t squish all those soccer balls into the center of the earth. There’s no singularity. Matter takes up room. There is room. It’s just not 3D room. It’s Md room.
(Note, this also explains almost everything interesting about black holes (not a singularity, and light can escape, it just may, depending on its vector, have a hell of a long way to go)).
Some of the relationship between MD space and 3D is expressed by what we call gravity. We think of gravity as a force like electromagnetism or the weak nuclear force. But gravity is also (or just is) a vector. It’s a description of where the soccer balls wind up. Or the matter inside a black hole. It’s why time has to be relative. The bigger the earth’s mass (or energy) the greater that little bit of the universe warps back into MD space. And so the greater distance the soccer ball has to travel to get to the MD center (and the more time).
Maybe the reason we can’t unify gravity with other forces is because it isn’t really a force. It’s a direction. An expression of density. Object don’t attract each other, they just warp MD space such that they fall toward each other down a constantly changing cone (changing constantly as the universe alters its shape. There needn’t be a messenger between them. The messenger is there already. It’s the slope of a receding cone.